Letter from a Friend: A Personal Appeal
My Dear, Dear Citizen,
How are you doing? I hope this letter finds you and your family in good health and living prosperously. God knows, our families are the most precious assets in our lives.
I write to you with great reluctance, but this matter is of such importance that I must put aside my normal reservations and pride.
With great humility, I need to ask you to support an urgent, secret business opportunity with a transfer of funds of extraordinary magnitude.
I have just recently lost $100 million as a result of unfortunate economic circumstances affecting our country. Of course, I was able to retain $500 million of my holdings but surely you share my disappointment in a $100 million loss. These are challenging times.
But, I assure you, I am not writing due to my own financial circumstances. As Ministry of the Treasury here in America, it is my duty to take charge of the crisis now disrupting our financial markets, which has caused the urgent necessity of the transfer of funds of $700 billion. There are skeptics who claim this amount could increase to $1 trillion, but trust me, this will do the trick. I have already done the proper paperwork and submitted a 3 page proposal to the American Congress.
If you would assist me with this transfer of funds, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gramm, lobbyist for UBS (a reputable company by any standard, I can assure you), who will be my replacement as Ministry of Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need these funds as quickly as possible.
We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are now constantly under the glaring light of surveillance.
My family lawyer has advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasuery.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with details about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Most Sincerely,
Henry Paulson
Minister of Treasury
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Note: By submitting your comments you acknowledge that Nader for President 2008 has the right to reproduce, broadcast and publicize those comments or any part thereof in any manner whatsoever. Please note that due to the volume of comments we receive, not all comments will be published and it may take several hours for your comments to be reviewed, and those that are published will not be edited. But all will be carefully read, considered and appreciated.
Your comment will be visible to you (and only you) after you post it, at which point it is queued for consideration and no longer visible. Please refrain from submitting your comments multiple times.
